Dad jokes are not just for dads!

[64MercurysRule]

The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the Knightshift .

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then .

What do you call a cow that's part of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin .

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi .

 

[Flopsweat]

What do you call a medieval spy?

Sir Veillance.

What do you call a Jewish knight?

Sir Cumcised.

 

[johnny bob]

What do you call a Jewish knight?

Sir Cumcised.

And some were called Sir Clip.

 

[64MercurysRule]

What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight ?
Sir Render

King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor

What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle ? Sir Prize

 

[Flopsweat]

What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight ?
Sir Render

King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor

What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle ? Sir Prize

What do you call a knight who always takes the long way home?

Sir Cuitous

 

[bcp]

The sun is setting, so get ready for a knight-time story.

In days of old, when knights were bold, this particular knight was leaving for a crusade and called one of his squires: "I'm leaving for the crusade

Here is the key to my wife's chastity belt. If, in 10 years, I haven't returned, you may use the key as I'm sure she will have needs."

The knight sets out on the dusty road, armored from head to toe. He takes one last look at his castle and sees the squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, "Stop! Stop! Thank goodness I was able to catch you. This is the wrong key."


Bruce

 

[albin25]

In days of old when
knights were bold,
and ladies weren't
so particular .
They'd lean 'em up
against a tree and
Screw 'em perpendicular !

 

[CamoDeafie]

I heard about a spirit that possessed a soldier.

It was in Corporal.

 

[bradsteen]

Did you know that Guns n' Roses raised funds to build a brand new hospital dedicated to treating people with dwarfism?

Construction finished today and it's officially open. Now all they need is just the little patients.

 

[Flopsweat]

Did you know that Guns n' Roses raised funds to build a brand new hospital dedicated to treating people with dwarfism?

Construction finished today and it's officially open. Now all they need is just the little patients.

For the GNR impaired:

"All we need is just a little patience."

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErvgV4P6Fzc


Not their best work, but

 

[bradsteen]

For the GNR impaired:

"All we need is just a little patience."

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErvgV4P6Fzc


Not their best work, but

Yeah, the Chris Cornell version was better. Then again, the bar is pretty low - Axel Rose sounds like a dying cat.

View: https://youtu.be/myZ32Pf-5PE?feature=shared

 

[Flopsweat]

Yeah, the Chris Cornell version was better. Then again, the bar is pretty low - Axel Rose sounds like a dying cat.

View: https://youtu.be/myZ32Pf-5PE?feature=shared

Much better.

 

[WEE]

Venison is very lean meat and relatively inexpensive. Deer testicles are also very cheap. Always under a buck.

 

[solv3nt]

Venison is very lean meat and relatively inexpensive. Deer testicles are also very cheap. Always under a buck.

You've got to run that up. "What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?"

 

[CamoDeafie]

 

[Flopsweat]

View attachment 1903927

Gimme a Kiss, Rock of Ages.

 

[Flopsweat]

 

[Flopsweat]

All in all you're

 

[MTpockets]

...

 

[64MercurysRule]

Did you hear about the mime crime spree in Portland ...... He's doing unspeakable things .