Dad jokes are not just for dads!

[CamoDeafie]

Did you know deaf people can be the most depraved, kinkiest, perverted people? They do unspeakable acts all the time!

 

[Flopsweat]

Did you know deaf people can be the most depraved, kinkiest, perverted people? They do unspeakable acts all the time!

What?

 

[64MercurysRule]

I just found out that my girlfriend is a mime .
I can't believe that after all these years she never told me .

Once I got kicked out of a library for being a mime .
Because actions speak louder than words .

A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight .
He still…...has the right to remain silent .

 

[Flopsweat]

I just found out that my girlfriend is a mime .
I can't believe that after all these years she never told me .

Once I got kicked out of a library for being a mime .
Because actions speak louder than words .

A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight .
He still…...has the right to remain silent .

I've almost perfected my mime Elvis act. Just need a little less conversation…

 

[Flopsweat]

 

[CamoDeafie]

May be dark, but


Why is Adobe Acrobat a registered sex offender?

Because it has pd-files.

 

[Richo877]

 

[WEE]

 

[CamoDeafie]

Why are berries the worst drivers?

Because they're always in a jam

 

[64MercurysRule]

I used to work for a circus . I circumcised elephants , there wasn't a lot of money in it , but the tips were big .

 

[CamoDeafie]

I used to work for a circus . I circumcised elephants , there wasn't a lot of money in it , but the tips were big .

Didn't know they were orthodoxial elephants

 

[64MercurysRule]

1. I have just been offered a job as a clown. My boss told me the other guy was good. Seems to me I'll have some big shoes to fill.

2. I was looking through the employment section of the paper today and saw a vacancy for an acrobat. I thought, perfect, I could do that standing on my head...

3. Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker... I used to look up to him...

4. I was knocked over by a clown car! Luckily, 17 people got out to help.

 

[albin25]

A van carrying politicians recently crashed into a tree here in Lewiston so all the neighbors ran out to see what they could do,
When the Police and paramedics arrived they asked, "Where are the passengers?".
"We already buried all of them", said the neighbors.
The Cops asked, "were ALL the passengers dead?"
The neighbors responded,
"Well, most claimed they weren't… but, Y'know how them politicians are always lying!"

 

[Flopsweat]

Don't understand cloning? Makes two of us.

 

[johnny bob]

Don't understand cloning? Makes two of us.

The mad scientist decided to clone himself. He created a clone that looked exactly like himself. Same height, walk, mannerisms, but for some reason every other word the clone used was a curse word.

The mad scientist did not want to ruin his reputation so he thought he would get rid of the clone. He had to think of a way to get rid of him without a punishment to himself. He took his clone for a hike in the mountains and when they were on a high cliff, he pushed the clone over to fall to his death.

The plan worked but he was soon arrested. It seems he was charged with making an obscene clone fall.